LET ME CUT TO THE CHASE HERE THIS IS REALLY LONG
I have no fucking idea what to do with my dA.

Right so you guys all know that I draw obsessively..from 1-4 ink drawings a (school)day. (I actually finished my fourth sketchbook today. 200 pages in two and a half months. Hell yes.) I DRAW SO MUCH IT'S GROSS. And do you know how fucking lazy I am? REALLY, REALLY LAZY.
So the deal is..I get feedback at school. People look at my art. It is such a weird concept for me and oh my god you guys. It's. Amazing. That people that don't know about art and people that are amazing (Joshua) look at it and just..woah.

So

you see
I have no real drive to put it up online. I just don't???
And I'm sick of the shit in my gallery because it's more of an old Angharad and a lot of it is..crap..? I just don't want to go and DELETEEVERYTHINGLULZ because that seems harsh (although I did do that a little over a year ago) and I don't want a new account because (refer to above point) I am a LAZY MOTHERFUCKER. _{Attached to this account? Never..}
So I just eh I don't really know.

I love the social aspect of dA and I am on it ALL THE FUCKING TIME I just never contribute? I love people posting their stuff and I'd like to return the favor but as I say that I feel like an egotistical person and that is terrible.

DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA Y/N

I feel so egotistical saying this it makes me want to DIE IN A HOLE
but I'm just getting this feedback from the outer world and it's like holy shit sdjlagjklhjlsa

I just wish I knew how to use paint/color/other things
Once an excellent pal of mine was telling me she didn't want to paint etc because she didn't feel she was good enough with value greytones pencil etc
and I was like
but painting is fun!!!
and now I'm like
but I'm not good enough to paint/I'll screw it up with paint/UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY HALP
I painted something this weekend because uhhhh portfolio lol DECEMBER 5, 2009 IN PERSON
wait what?
yeah.
Interlochen
_{as if we could ever pay for it god dreams are never financially bound}
but you know they aren't going to want to see BOOK UPON BOOK OF INK CONCEPTS
I mean I have that bird photo realism thing and that finished figure thing and my huge action monochrome thing but
wait
I know how to paint?
what?
No.
DON'T EVEN TELL ME I DO KNOW HOW. That bird was a long time ago in a time of my life that I have tried to erase from my memory and besides I HATE PHOTO REALISM IT'S BORING AS ALL HELL. But yeah I feel like I don't idk understand color and painting techniques as much as I once thought I did so now it's like
oh lol angharad stop shitting yourself
I mean I have finally gotten a proper grasp on value and I LOVE IT LOL and just dasjlkgalhs color is scary.

^above Angharad whining session

but yeah I don't even know how I got down that line
this is like let me whine to you guys day

So basically if I'm at home this weekend I will be:
LEARNING HOW TO PAINT LOL

and doing more still lives fml fml fml fml fml

unless I get to see ANNIEANNIEANNIE this weekend please please let me please please PLEASEEE

but you know
that's the game plan.

So at this time I am way too lazy to scan my COMPLETE, FINISHED, 200 PAGE sketchbook of ink work. to put on dA.
No.
It's mine.
And time is money.
What?

I don't even know what I'm trying to get at idk it's just things are going well for me, artwise, I have a fighting chance at going to Interlochen, I have a fighting chance at LIFE+ART and idk things are just pretty fanfuckingtastic.

I haven't rambled this much in an awful long time bets on how many people read this
and shoot me I think I might try out for sro I've kind of been stepping back into digital since it lets me fuck with color without wasting real media but you know me? sro? PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW n_____n;;;;; I kind of..like it..from the outside....

ohbtw if you have gotten to the bottom
the loves of my (internet) life:
and the loves of my life life _{who have dA's!!}: